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3.1 KiB
3.1 KiB
Worked before/after examples
Verb forms
| Before | After |
|---|---|
| We have received the technical reports from HQ. | We received the technical reports from HQ. |
| This device has been being used at Boeing since 2005. | Boeing started to use this device in 2005. |
| The test is continued by the operator. | Continue the test. |
| The screws should be replaced. | Replace the screws. |
| The system is currently running diagnostics. | The system does diagnostic tests now. |
Vocabulary and phrasing
| Before | After |
|---|---|
| Ensure file exists before running. | Make sure that the file exists before you run the command. |
| Rotate the cover until the jacks are accessible. | Turn the cover until you can get access to the jacks. |
| Extend the jack until the wheels are clear of the ground. | Extend the jack until the wheels do not touch the ground. |
| Make sure that these steps are followed. | Obey these steps. |
| Utilize approximately 3 liters of water. | Use about 3 liters of water. |
| Perform a compression of the log files prior to upload. | Compress the log files before you upload them. |
Noun clusters
| Before | After |
|---|---|
| Main gear door retraction winch handle | Main-gear-door retraction-winch handle |
| Runway light connection resistance calibration | Calibration of the resistance of the runway light connection |
| Remove the engine transmission housing attachment bolts. | Remove the bolts that attach the transmission housing to the engine. |
Procedural rewrite (condition first, one instruction per sentence)
Before:
You should check that the reservoir has been filled with the correct fluid and, after attaching a clear tube to the bleed screw while ensuring its free end is submerged, the pedal can be pumped and held so that opening the screw releases trapped air.
After:
- Fill the reservoir with the correct fluid.
- Attach a clear tube to the bleed screw.
- Put the free end of the tube in a container of fluid.
- Push the pedal three times. Hold the pedal down.
- Open the bleed screw one half turn. Air and fluid flow into the tube.
- Close the bleed screw. Release the pedal.
- If air continues to come out, do steps 4 thru 6 again.
Warnings and cautions (command first, then risk)
Before:
Note that serious data loss may potentially occur if the --force flag is used against production.
After:
CAUTION: Do not use the --force flag on the production database. The flag deletes the rows that do not match the source.
Before:
Touching the terminal could result in electrocution.
After:
WARNING: Do not touch the terminal. The terminal has a dangerous voltage.
Common mistakes checklist
- Dropped articles: "Insert pin in bracket" → "Insert the pin in the bracket."
- Synonym rotation: check/verify/confirm for the same action → one term, everywhere.
- Hedges: "you may want to," "it is recommended that" → an imperative or "must."
- Instruction buried in a NOTE: notes never instruct. Move the instruction to a numbered step.
- Semicolon joining two clauses → two sentences.
- "There are three bolts on the panel" → "The panel has three bolts."