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68 lines
3.1 KiB
Markdown
68 lines
3.1 KiB
Markdown
# Worked before/after examples
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## Verb forms
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| Before | After |
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| We have received the technical reports from HQ. | We received the technical reports from HQ. |
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| This device has been being used at Boeing since 2005. | Boeing started to use this device in 2005. |
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| The test is continued by the operator. | Continue the test. |
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| The screws should be replaced. | Replace the screws. |
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| The system is currently running diagnostics. | The system does diagnostic tests now. |
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## Vocabulary and phrasing
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| Before | After |
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| Ensure file exists before running. | Make sure that the file exists before you run the command. |
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| Rotate the cover until the jacks are accessible. | Turn the cover until you can get access to the jacks. |
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| Extend the jack until the wheels are clear of the ground. | Extend the jack until the wheels do not touch the ground. |
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| Make sure that these steps are followed. | Obey these steps. |
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| Utilize approximately 3 liters of water. | Use about 3 liters of water. |
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| Perform a compression of the log files prior to upload. | Compress the log files before you upload them. |
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## Noun clusters
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| Before | After |
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| Main gear door retraction winch handle | Main-gear-door retraction-winch handle |
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| Runway light connection resistance calibration | Calibration of the resistance of the runway light connection |
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| Remove the engine transmission housing attachment bolts. | Remove the bolts that attach the transmission housing to the engine. |
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## Procedural rewrite (condition first, one instruction per sentence)
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Before:
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> You should check that the reservoir has been filled with the correct fluid and, after attaching a clear tube to the bleed screw while ensuring its free end is submerged, the pedal can be pumped and held so that opening the screw releases trapped air.
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After:
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> 1. Fill the reservoir with the correct fluid.
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> 2. Attach a clear tube to the bleed screw.
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> 3. Put the free end of the tube in a container of fluid.
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> 4. Push the pedal three times. Hold the pedal down.
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> 5. Open the bleed screw one half turn. Air and fluid flow into the tube.
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> 6. Close the bleed screw. Release the pedal.
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> 7. If air continues to come out, do steps 4 thru 6 again.
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## Warnings and cautions (command first, then risk)
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Before:
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> Note that serious data loss may potentially occur if the --force flag is used against production.
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After:
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> CAUTION: Do not use the --force flag on the production database. The flag deletes the rows that do not match the source.
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Before:
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> Touching the terminal could result in electrocution.
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After:
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> WARNING: Do not touch the terminal. The terminal has a dangerous voltage.
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## Common mistakes checklist
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- Dropped articles: "Insert pin in bracket" → "Insert the pin in the bracket."
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- Synonym rotation: check/verify/confirm for the same action → one term, everywhere.
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- Hedges: "you may want to," "it is recommended that" → an imperative or "must."
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- Instruction buried in a NOTE: notes never instruct. Move the instruction to a numbered step.
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- Semicolon joining two clauses → two sentences.
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- "There are three bolts on the panel" → "The panel has three bolts."
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